Dear Alice, For some reason I'm only attracted men who are about ten years older than I am currently There is no age limit to happiness. What would it be like to sit down with your mom to chat about your point of view and hers? If you've got health insurance, your plan may have a list of counselors and a procedure for connecting with services. One of the best parts of being an adult is your ability to reject judgement of all kind — including from your parents. For example, if you start dating someone who is 20 when you are 26 years old, they are within the acceptable age range, according to the rule, but it is the very limit of your minimum age range. Whether or not you choose to delve into your personal reasons for digging older guys, it's hopeful that you and your mom can get to know each other's concerns and preferences better through talking and listening. Her reasons might relate to her own past, your past, or her general beliefs about age and dating. The Context of the Relationship Matters When researchers set out to determine the magical age range that is acceptable to both individuals and society as the appropriate age for dating, they found that people had different age limits depending on the context. Even with the best efforts to make every pregnancy a planned and wanted one, there is still a need for abortion services as… Featured Video Dr. Instead of worrying about them, I suggest you spend your valuable energy figuring out what attracts you to older men and make sure that you are willing to work to bridge your differences with them. What I have come to realize is that age has never really been a factor in my relationships but rather my own misconceptions or mishandling of it. The hard truth is that, even if you think your mom should be more understanding, it's really your mom's choice whether or not she approves of your attraction to older guys. I say to hell with it all, society does not have to live our life and is certainly not in charge of it.
First, about your preference for older guys… one important point to remember is that people mature and develop at different rates you've heard the idea of late bloomers and early bloomers. The Limits and Maximums Change Over Time In considering the appropriate age of your next dating partner, consider that your age ranges will change as you get older. How old is too old? Here are some resources: Do you think a good talk might help you both understand the situation better? Locate Services , which offers more information on finding a counselor in your area. This is surely a personal matter that you could choose talk over with friends, your mom, or a professional counselor. Maybe your mom has some darn good reasons for her concern. You have as much insight into what makes their relationship work as others have in your own. The hard truth is that, even if you think your mom should be more understanding, it's really your mom's choice whether or not she approves of your attraction to older guys. Dear Alice, For some reason I'm only attracted men who are about ten years older than I am currently There is no age limit to happiness. Who knows, you and your mom might learn some new things about each other, and yourselves, during such a discussion! It may be a trite saying but it rings true to me: But I have mostly made peace with it. Does it differ depending on which gender is older, or for same sex couples? That information should be on their website or brochure. If you end up finding Mr. Read more about healthy relationships. But when you are 30, and they are 24, your new age range is 22, and they are well above that range. I mean to say that these guys are not dumb or unsuccessful, and it's not just about sex. I have over a decade on my boyfriend and had a similar span with my ex-husband. It is far too easy to chalk up any or all of the problems in your relationship to age — especially when you are angry, hurt, or tired. Men tend to stick to their own age as the maximum limit age they are willing to date, and surprisingly, tended to prefer partners that were only a few years younger. The Context of the Relationship Matters When researchers set out to determine the magical age range that is acceptable to both individuals and society as the appropriate age for dating, they found that people had different age limits depending on the context. I have this rule: Am I treated with respect?
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