How does one find someone with the patience to go slowly physically and spend intimate time together just getting comfortable having someone from the opposite sex around, necking and fooling around without the pressure from the first get go that it must culminate immediately in penetrative sex whereas that may happen in a day or two or even immediately but who knows and how does one predict? I read so many cries for help on askme from people who have mismatched libidos with their spouses. It's actually no different than having the talk about children - whether or not you eventually want them. You can filter these to show only the "dating" questions or only the "sex" questions. Something you don't mention is if you're looking to date casual or if you're looking for a serious, long-term relationship. Personally, I would wait for the right girl but I'd have to know there was a short time-table. So, a guy who is eager to marry and likes you a lot might be a pretty good match however, most guys aren't ready to talk about marriage very early so the thought of waiting potentially years before consummating your relationship is probably a turnoff regardless of how much he likes you. This is an epic minefield, especially if you are looking for a marriage with liberal western values. Say it right in your profile. As others have pointed out, you will have trouble finding a positive reaction to your choices outside of very conservative religious communities. He used to joke that he wouldn't be having sex anyway, so he might as well not be having sex with her. Some of the most common questions are about this kind of thing. All that being said, I wish you the best.
Not trying to question your choice, but your choice of words. It's your life and your decision and as long as you're happy with it, that's all that matters. Which I realize probably sounds like a downer, so let me finish by saying that I have nothing but respect and admiration for your dedication and your discipline, and I sincerely wish you the best of luck out there. Say it right in your profile. Once he knows what you're comfortable with, you can have fantastically flirty dates. That being said, I think the only way you'll have any success is if you can actually find someone who has the exact same feelings as you about sex before marriage. You've got convictions and you'd do well to stick to them until you're married or you decide for yourself to change. I also find it much easier to go on a first date knowing the other person already knows, instead of being on pins and needles trying to figure out when to tell her because I know it is a big deal to most people. I don't recommend pursuing a romantic relationship with someone whose beliefs conflict with yours. This is absolutely true, but the unspoken third category here is "someone who is looking to fill a relationship-with-no-sex slot, for one of a myriad problematic psychological reasons". I would go into it assuming that everyone will respect your choices; if you get contacted by people who give you a hard time about it, block 'em as ruthlessly as you'd block anyone who made any kind of rude comment. All that being said, I wish you the best. Not to mention not raised in the same faith and denomination. Really nice guy and everything, of course. We don't know the OP's gender or sexual orientation. There's a LOT of stuff outside "sex that causes a baby" that guys and girls are into. If this is the case, you should be very up front about that as well as your choice to not have sex before marriage. Must marriage be a legal entity or can it be a commitment given from the heart? That'd be a great place to start The stereotype you mentioned could make it hard for either, in different ways. I wouldn't recommend putting in your profile if you do online dating. This is an absolute deal breaker for most people and not something you are likely to talk them into a lot of people are willing to go very slow, but not wait until marriage so I don't think trying to warm them up to the idea if you are really serious about this will be effective. The sort of religious partner who abstains from sex due to their religion is also the sort who will want you to convert. Don't be defensive or evasive. He used to joke that he wouldn't be having sex anyway, so he might as well not be having sex with her.
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