Parents take it upon themselves to act as matchmakers in the marriage markets and large-scale speed-dating events that are popping up across almost every Chinese city. Women both inside and outside of China are acutely aware of the challenges involved in sharing the most intimate parts of your life with someone culturally different, and for many it's not worth it. Lea, another one of my interviewees, agreed. Living with her parents as just over half of my subjects still are, and the majority of mainland women do until they get married , Yang describes in heartbreaking detail how distant she feels from her mother and the rest of her family, who constantly grill her about her single status. To studied 50 leftover women and found them increasingly likely to choose Western men, "who are generally believed to be more open-minded and egalitarian in terms of gender roles". Countless surveys, articles, cartoons and television shows depict excessively fussy women who selfishly turn up their noses at potential suitors. Here are some of the more common ones I've heard: While it comes to marriage, most of them would rationally choose Chinese men eventually," Robin continued. I think they're disappointed when they realise I'm not. A middle-aged Chinese man said that western guys are more tolerant, and they won't feel strongly about marrying a woman who is not a virgin. She tells me how she was instantly associated with being quiet, analytical and nice when she started working in London, and describes fighting for opportunities to speak and chair meetings. Sure, those women are out there, but the ones I talked to, all in long-term relationships, never brought up this issue.
Chinese New Year has long been an opportunity for single people to meet a partner. Whatever the reason for the mainland's apparent shortage of good men, it is proving a real struggle for women who feel trapped between the societal importance of marriage and a fear of settling for someone they have little in common with. I had a lunchtime discussion with another self-media personality — someone intimately engaged in the world of Chinese social media — on the cultural weight and importance of this topic. A long history of preference for sons led to large numbers of girls being abandoned, placed in orphanages, sex-selective abortions or even cases of female infanticide. The tale of the tragic love story between a young Vietnamese woman and an American soldier paints a heartbroken and helpless image of Miss Saigon that remains one of the most poignant and visible depictions of Far Eastern women in popular culture. China's economic might makes stereotyping more 'acceptable', say experts She points to how British Chinese do well academically and professionally. Single women at the Shanghai Matchmaking Expo in Other men are turning to psychologists and stylists to make themselves more appealing. But she emphasized that while it is easy to like a white man, it is hard to love him. Singletons attend a speed-dating event in the mainland. With mounting pressure and dwindling hopes of fulfilling both career and personal ambitions at home, for women such as Xu the urge to pack up and leave only grows stronger with time. Here are some reasons why Chinese women are attracted to Western men: Take the 25th anniversary revival of Miss Saigon in the West End. The parent trap Parents are a big source of pressure to find a partner, pronto. Without women such as her, though, the mainland will be left with not only a weaker economy, but an even greater pool of frustrated leftover men. The stereotyping plays itself out in the roles you see Chinese women playing in theatre, on TV or in films. She also said, of the Western men that she's dated, that they have a wider view of life. She said that it took a lot of communication to get her husband to understand her wishes. I am not sure how much my content has contributed to a productive discussion, but what is most important is that conversation can continue in an objective, rational, and maybe helpful way. Consequently, many women are starting to look more seriously elsewhere, dating outside their ethnicity in order to increase the chances of finding a partner. I suffered a lot because they all seemed so cold and uncommitted. Such reports don't fall on deaf ears. Tips for relationship success Given this information, if you're thinking of dating a Chinese woman you should do the following: Her Chinese friends told her that no Chinese guy would want to date her. Dating dynamics are always interesting to observe, especially the variances in how different cultures or people in different locations perceive certain behaviors or unwritten rules. The same applies to the workplace.
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