In my case if I don't initiate it, nothing is going to happen. We became comfortable with each other, which typically leads to more junk food, but as our sex life waned, I began to eat my feelings. I've worked with countless couples in which one partner was so dissatisfied with the sexual relationship that he or she eventually had an affair or left a marriage. Also, stop talking about sex and focus on yourself for a change. That's more than okay—that's real giving, when you give to your partner what he or she wants and needs whether or not you understand, like, or agree with it. Respect your partner's sexual prerequisites. Look at your own behavior as well: Why am I not surprised that this letter is from a woman? He wouldn't have sex while I was pregnant with each of our children. Why not approach things differently? I'm beginning to think that I will never find a partner whose sex drive is equal to mine. You might feel hurt, rejected, or unsexy because your spouse has been apathetic, but don't be critical; be kind and complimentary. This was very hard on me I always thought men would be the ones in the mood. Yet when it came to self-image, seeing themselves as anything other than inferior was a hurdle too high to jump.
He fielded TONS of calls from people, men and women, who found themselves in similar situations where one partner wants more sex than the other. For most men, testosterone peaks between 7 to 8 A. He is beyond happy with this but I'm dying most days. If, as the man, you are the more highly-sexed partner, it will serve you well to remember this about your wife. Just say calmly that because of the differences in your sexual appetites, you are so unhappy that you are considering doing something you really don't want to. So what does one do to fix this problem? My husband has nearly no interest, does not notice if I'm naked, states he doesn't ever think about sex, refuses to see this as a legitimate problem, and if I'm to try to get him there, there is a laundry list of factors that have to be aligned for him: In my case if I don't initiate it, nothing is going to happen. He claimed that porn did nothing for him and that he only masturbated about once a month. Do not feel unwanted or not sexy enough when your man has a lower sex drive than you, instead, focus on what you might be doing wrong. No woman wants to always take the initiative Long days at work or everyday stressors start to take a toll on your sex life. Never any expression of passion or desire. Look at your own behavior as well: Most women believe that men will start touching them only when they want sex, and this makes them feel like an object and totally turns them off. Talk about a long nine plus months. Catch your husband in the act of doing something right and tell him about it. Experiment and watch what happens. We should still have a decent sexual drive. I actually waited during the first year of marriage to see if he would ever go for it. Ask your partner one more time to seek help. Bring her a cup of coffee in the morning. Our sex life is back and just as fantastic as it was in the beginning. There's so much variance among both sexes. Why not approach things differently?
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