It was incredibly refreshing to meet people in real life, for once. These men weren't the living mannequins you see gliding on the roller skates of their good looks through Chelsea. Once everyone had registered, our organizer separated us into our respective groups. I happened to be one of the first guys to register with the organizer, and I took the opportunity to grab a beer and watch the men herd into line to register like cattle to the slaughter. Some of the men were veterans of speed dating, and from the sound of it, they had not lost hope. They went into this round with just as much enthusiasm and vigor as they'd done the first time -- even if they were wearing T-shirts. That, my friends, was the biggest takeaway -- that, and the fact that a doe-eyed, 5-foot, pound Asian man does not make a convincing top. Whereas I tried to look as though I had just gotten off my fancy job as a writer, a majority of the men looked as though they had just left their shift at Aeropostale. Read more at Metro. Unfortunately, we were both the human equivalents of melted ice at the bottom of a cooler previously filled with beer, dreams and the empty promise of a good time. It's happened to me once before; I realized that if I was the smartest person in the room, then we were all screwed. This was only heightened by the fact that most of the men at the event were, as I said, aggressively average -- like, community-college average. Far too many of the men, who were essentially about to go on at least 15 first dates, were wearing T-shirts and tank tops. Alas, despite my greatest efforts, I was not a very convincing top. It was like a nightmarish game of dodgeball that would air on LOGO.
Don't get me wrong. That, and never buy knives from that dude from high school. Read more at Metro. You're gayer than Judy Garland's Christmas ornaments. I was surprised to see that of the ish men there, only three including me were dressed up. Well, except for one dude. By the end of the night, I had met about 16 different men, and I can tell you that the look of disappointment that flashed on their faces upon seeing me never got old. I gave him the ol' side eye and sipped out of my beer suspiciously. Whereas I tried to look as though I had just gotten off my fancy job as a writer, a majority of the men looked as though they had just left their shift at Aeropostale. If you learn anything from me at all, it's that you should always dress how you want to feel, not how you actually feel. It was incredibly refreshing to meet people in real life, for once. I could still tell he had a great personality to match his Prince Eric looks. Get a couple of drinks in you and what are you? Final Words Speed dating, even the kind tailored toward your preferred sexual role, is a great alternative to the more obvious option: This was only heightened by the fact that most of the men at the event were, as I said, aggressively average -- like, community-college average. Once everyone had registered, our organizer separated us into our respective groups. Have you ever been at a party and realized, with a cold sweat and a shiver of dread, that you were the smartest one in the room? I was less than halfway through a night of gay speed dating for "bottoms" and "tops" and had already been asked three times if I was in the right group. Why were they dressed like that dude from high school who always tries to sell you knives when you run into him every trip back home? I might have had better luck convincing them I was a a very lost and confused lesbian. Stretching my social muscles was a good exercise, and it's fun trying to make strangers laugh. The human race must have really pissed off a love god from some pantheon to be punished with the literal hell that is OKStupid. Alas, despite my greatest efforts, I was not a very convincing top. One gentleman, for example, interrupted me halfway throughout our introductions and asked with a smile, "Are you a Greek god? Unfortunately, we were both the human equivalents of melted ice at the bottom of a cooler previously filled with beer, dreams and the empty promise of a good time. That's how I imagine this gentleman felt, except that instead of being the smartest man in the room, he was the best-looking. To be blunt, most of the men on either side including me were average-looking -- sometimes aggressively so.
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