Be a support person and a sounding board, and be open about any fears or concerns you have, too — she should be making a similar effort to make sure that you are feeling positively about the experience as well. Be There For Her Afterwards Regardless of your relationship status, you should be kind and courteous to your partner in the aftermath of her first sexual experience. Let's say you've been dating someone a while and you're discussing the prospect of having sex for the first time together. It's also worth factoring in the idea that it's the ultimate goal for men to "take" a woman's virginity. So far, so good! For others still, it's not that big a deal either way: Sometimes young girls like the idea of sleeping with older men and may feel as if it makes them seem more mature and developed than their peers, but it's not unusual for them to regret having sex with older men later down the line. Make sure the power dynamics in your relationship are equal, and that everyone is fully happy to proceed. You're naturally feeling pretty excited to take things to the next level, and the two of you are talking about how it will go down. How do you proceed? It doesn't need to be an anxiety-inducing experience, though. The idea of sleeping with a virgin can be pretty daunting, due to the high degree of pressure we place on the concept to begin with. You Will Need To Take Things Slowly And Gently Regardless of your partner's attitude towards losing her virginity, in terms of the physical act itself, it's going to pay to take things slowly. You can make sure it's as positive as possible for the two of you by acting with respect and dignity, and by keeping the channels of communication open and honest.
Make Sure That You're Feeling Safe, Happy And Comfortable, Too Of course the focus here will mainly be on your partner, as she is the one who is losing her virginity, but that doesn't mean you fall out of the picture completely. What are the rules here? Be a support person and a sounding board, and be open about any fears or concerns you have, too — she should be making a similar effort to make sure that you are feeling positively about the experience as well. Read on for the top eight things to consider before sleeping with a virgin: Again, communication is important here: Sex gets better with practice, so for her first time, focus on making sure she's comfortable and happy. Pay extra attention to non-verbal cues, too: Don't worry too much about that side of things: Assuming that the virgin you're thinking of sleeping with is female, it's worth considering the whole host of societal pressure she is likely facing about the concept of her virginity, and what losing it means. Make sure she gets home safely. She pauses, and then brings up an unusual complicating detail: Basically, this one comes down to common decency and probably goes without saying for most AskMen readers: Yup — she's a virgin. Tailor your approach to the attitude of your partner, but err on the side of treating it as a significant event for her. Make sure the power dynamics in your relationship are equal, and that everyone is fully happy to proceed. Society Has A Lot Of Strange Ideas About Virginity The idea of "virginity" is treated in a variety of different ways in society and through the mainstream media, from an embarrassment to be gotten rid of at all costs to the ultimate state of purity and innocence. It's a pretty creepy way of looking at things, and it would be a good idea for you to reassure her that that's not your mindset. Obviously you can't completely prevent one of you getting hurt feelings or regretting what happened, but you can reduce the chances with clear, honest communication up-front. For some people — as mentioned above, usually males — virginity is something to be gotten rid of quickly and without too much fanfare. Will your relationship continue after the two of you have sex, and in what capacity? How do you proceed? The key thing is for you to determine how your partner feels, and proceed accordingly from there. It's also worth factoring in the idea that it's the ultimate goal for men to "take" a woman's virginity. Sex is something she hasn't experienced before and she will be physically unused to it, which could mean a bit of blood on your sheets and potentially some pain for her. Don't be a creep and don't take advantage of someone who is much younger than you.
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