Prepare Yourself By all means, if we want to be married, we should prepare ourselves to be married. It's not like your life is over. When a dating experience is successful it helps to build our personality. We will see specific reasons why this is not true in upcoming chapters, but for now, I want you to join me in taking a hard look at your dating philosophy. Dating involves learning about intimacy and serves as an opportunity to establish a unique, meaningful relationship with a person of the opposite sex. I want you to see dating in a very, very different way. Personal identity is developed through relationships with other people. To buy the right kind of flowers, or candy, or jewelry? It sounded like she thought she knew what she wanted and needed. That is what you need to do. Dating is supposed to be fun.
Usually, you hear that from someone worried about his or her age in some way, such as a man worrying about putting down roots or a woman worrying about her biological clock. The second point we would like to focus on is that dating can help you find a mate. I gave him this assignment because I knew he did not know what he needed and wanted, and I wanted him to grow in self—knowledge. It provides opportunities to dress up, hang out with someone new, eat some delicious grub, and see good movies. I think we can all agree that is a shallow and superficial way to think about exclusivity. With others around, there is usually plenty of great ideas for having fun! Other people get involved with church, music groups, writing, or any number of other fun activities. Dating helps you find the right mate. Premarital sex, obsessive discussions about marriage, or too much time spent together can all take the relationship to a level of intimacy that is inappropriate for dating. Her father had been overly aggressive, and she was afraid of strong men. Prepare yourself to love exclusively. I'm not going to spout off cliches like, "You won't find love until you learn to love yourself," but I will say this: Want to experience true freedom? If you have seen it as only a search for the love of your life, then I want you to make some shifts in your thinking. This is a great goal in and of itself. Date to have fun. Dating does not have to be scary, intimidating, pressure packed, or anything else but enjoyable. I will no longer see dating as a place only to find a mate, but as a place to learn, grow, experience, and serve other people. The clearest picture we have in the Bible comes in Ephesians 5: First, I never allowed dating to get too serious. I'm sorry I don't know why you've been single for so long and I'm sorry I have no clue what So-and-So's last text means. Does that sound like your dating relationships? Don't lie to yourself and don't justify bad behavior. To find a mate? With regard to married people, it's probably a good idea to take their words with a grain of salt. One of the first steps people need is to be cured of the thinking that the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner. Come on, have a good time!
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